My back stuck up in the air like a cat with an attitude that just got rubbed the wrong way!

Talk about rude! I was a Senior in high school. Why on earth do I still bristle 40+ years later? I remember the moment with a groan, a belly laugh, and a not-so-silent conversation with myself.

I had just poured out my whole heart and soul to several hundred teenagers crammed into a Catholic school gymnasium. Forget chairs. We sat knee to knee across the floor with standing room only. I had paced and prayed and pleaded. It seemed, to me, that God had answered my cry until a seminarian argued otherwise. My back stuck up in the air like a cat with an attitude that just got rubbed the wrong way. The seminarian smirked,

“It wasn’t THAT good!”

Seriously? Are you kidding me! What do you mean It wasn’t THAT good?

He was wrong wrong wrong! The lawyer in me rose up to defend. The judge in me pounded the gavel. Case dismissed! What case? It involved a not so simple song that brings me here today. (Any moment that lasts 40+ years is anything but simple!)

From the depths of my being, I just wanted God to get all the glory. I wanted people to see Jesus. ONLY Jesus & NONE of me. Thus the conflict began.

My desperate pleading prayer went something like this. Oh, God! Please! Let people see Jesus. ONLY Jesus & NONE of me! Oh, God! Please! When they see my eyes, let them see ONLY Jesus’ eyes. When they see my forehead, let them see ONLY Jesus’ forehead. When they hear my voice, let them hear ONLY Jesus’ voice. Oh, God! Let it be ONLY Jesus & NONE of me. Please, God. Please! My cry went on and on…

Of course, God answered! His presence was felt so strongly that teenagers throughout the crowded room had tears rolling off their faces. Even the guys were crying! Don’t even tell me God did not answer.

The seminarian approached my witness stand. At first his words seemed agreeable and in my favor. Mary, that song was really good! My necessary rebuttal began. Oh! That wasn’t me! That was Jesus! The seminarian became increasingly confused the more I tried to straighten him out. It was ONLY Jesus’ voice he heard singing! It was ONLY Jesus’ eyes and forehead that he saw! That’s why it was so good. That’s why people cried. That’s why every note rang with Heaven and Heaven filled the room.

I won. End of story! I would not in any way shape or form take any credit, when I knew that it was ONLY Jesus & NONE of me.

My seminarian friend tilted his head like a deer in the headlights about to jump in front my moving car that was soon to be totaled. I could not stop the vehicle. It was too late. I was stunned, and my moment was wrecked through his one sentence. “It wasn’t THAT good!”

He jotted off like a deer that remained uninjured while leaving my car destroyed. Four simple words and now I was the one confused and upset. How dare he! And… as much as I still hate to admit it… how right! Ouch. It was a good hurt that now makes me laugh. I got it.

My singing was good but some of the notes were off key. My timing was decent but sometimes off beat. My guitar music was okay but it was Not perfectly tuned. Had it really been ONLY Jesus & NONE of me, everything about the moment would have been flawless. But… “It wasn’t THAT good!”

Even so, Heaven filled the room! Heaven moved in our hearts and brought us to tears.

I had thought for God to get ALL the glory, it had to be with NONE of me. On the contrary, the Lord needed me there. fully Present. and in expectation of His goodness. He would reveal His presence in the midst of humanity. He took the little I had & filled it with His much. That’s what gave Him glory!