I woke up crabby and mad and frustrated… just because. That’s how I began my early morning prayer time.

Before you go down the road of “Poor, Mary. What’s wrong?” Please know that does not help. Trust me, I’ve got enough of that all by myself. I appreciate the concern. But my feeling lousy is not the point.

While I was struggling, I did what I do. I went to pray with honest prayers and God did not strike me down. So I continued to do what I do. I continued to pray.

Eventually I moved from my leather recliner to my secondary prayer spot on my front porch. I grabbed the hose and watered my flowers while I continued to do what I do. I continued to pray. My soul calmed with the sound of water and memories of planting my flowers and watching them grow. Four birds sat together on my bird bath and drank fresh water… and my soul calmed more.

Something happened when I do what I do even though I did not want to do it. I began in self-pity, not alone, but honestly with the Lord. I went to Him in my weakness and He met me with Himself. He revealed His heart through birds and nature and water. He met me with His consistent tender presence. Oddly, I am okay now.

Of all the things that have kept me sane and given me joy and peace throughout the ups and downs of life, this has probably been the most important. I.Just.Keep.Going.To.Him. Like it or not, I go. Feel like it or not, I go. He is always there waiting with unconditional love.

I honestly don’t know how He does it, but somehow He helps. Somehow He comforts. Somehow he comes as I pour out the inner recesses of my soul. 

I am so very grateful!