My time with the Lord was like trying to drive a car for the first time with a stick-shift.

I am here again with coffee nearby and still in my plaid flannel pajamas. It is 6:45AM and I have been praying… sort of. It’s more like I have been trying to pray.

I wrote a post yesterday about a season years ago when I felt awkward in my friendship with God. For some odd reason, similar feelings arose this morning. I knew I was welcomed in His presence, but I wanted to do it right. Well…. doing it right is… Not right… at all. I know that. Yet, here I was only moments ago striving to please.

I looked too hard for the best way to pray. I understand it is important to yield to the Lord’s leading in prayer. The kind of praying I am talking about, today, is the kind where he is waiting… listening… yearning to hear Our hearts. Just as there is an ebb and flow in human relationships (at least there is supposed to be), there is an ebb and flow in types of prayer. Ultimately, one thing stays central in all true prayer. It must be birthed out of relationship with the Lord.

Thankfully, the Lord met with me even in my awkward striving to please. It’s like His presence just sat… with me. Nothing more. He fully accepted me, even though my time with him seemed more like trying to drive a car for the first time with a stick-shift. I started - stopped- paused -rolled backwards - and thought I’d never get the prayer car uphill without crashing. Like I said earlier. I was trying way too hard!!!

His patient smile within my heart caught my gaze. Ahhhhh……….. I’m okay, because he thinks I’m okay.

Even now while typing, I inhaled such relief. God is so good.

In the relief of his acceptance, my heart rested. My prayers changed. I relaxed enough where I could sense him minister to my heart. It was not, however, because of my performance. It was as it always is….

He meets me right where I am at… with all that he is.

God is so good. All the time……..