I don’t remember the context of the struggle. It was certainly not earth shattering. I was just driving to work on an ordinary day talking to my daughter on the phone. Somehow the conversation took a turn towards an anxious thought and I stuttered. My daughter knows I do not stutter often anymore. When I do, it’s because my stress scale has tipped past overload. Being the Spiritual Director that she is, my daughter asked the question that brings me here today.

Where is God in the stuttering ?

Indeed! Where is God in the s-t-u-t-t-e-r-i-n-g ? Where is God in the empty spaces ? Where is God in the d-i-s-c-o-n-n-e-c-t-i-o-n-s ?

Where is God ?

I quieted my soul and listened for the gentle nudge of the Holy Spirit in such a wonderfully odd question. In the tender moment I understood…

God was there. In the awkward stuck silence. In the pauses. In the in—between places holding it all together.

God was there. In my shame touching it with kindness.

God was there. In my hurried anxious soul with a gracious invitation to rest.

God was there. In the sounds that made it out. and in the sounds that got stuck. and in the seemingly nothingness that was filled with too many words to escape in a moment.

He was there. Unfrazzled. Unhurried. Patiently being who He is. Towards all of me.

Stuttering and all…

but He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough—always available—regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.” Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me. 2 Corinthians 12:9