Why are you treating me like this?!
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I want to share about a conversation I had many years ago. It lingers bitterly yet strangely sweet within my soul.
I will call her Sarah. That of course is not her real name. I want to protect her identity and honor her memory.
Sarah looked away when I approached. She went into camouflage mode. You know… Blend in. Don’t respond. Stay still. Hopefully the person you feel threatened by will not notice you are there.
I did not say much at first. I prayed. Do I stay? Do I leave? Something within held me still, so I joined her in the camouflaged place. I pulled up a chair and sat near her wheelchair that she had lived in since that horrid stroke left one side completely paralyzed.
After a few minutes that seemed like hours, I spoke. It was not especially spiritual but rather boring about traffic woes and the snow beginning to fall. She moved her eyes towards the window to see the snow, but I pretended I did not see. We were both in camouflage mode.
Something in Sarah started to relax. That is when the emotional earthquake hit. Sarah stiffened up, threw her head back, and let out a scream that stopped every person nearby. Why are you treating me like this! Panic gripped my heart. I did something terribly wrong and had no idea what it was. My heart still pains to remember the moment.
I apologized every way I could for hurting her, and for doing whatever it was, that I did. I begged her to please tell me what it was, so I would never do it again. She shook her head No as tears rolled down her cheek. She looked directly at me for the first time. Her eyes softened amidst the sorrow, and she uttered…
You’re treating me like I am a Person.
She asked the nurse to call me to her room later that day. She moved to Heaven shortly after.
I pause in the holiness of this memory. May I never forget her words.
You’re treating me like I am a Person.
Oh, God. I thank you for Sarah who became my teacher. Please, help me always See the Person. I need you to give me eyes that see beyond outward trappings of; disAbilities or giftedness, failure or success, sin or seeming flawlessness. Lord, you know my human tendency is to look on outward appearance, but I want you to help me be more like you who always looks at the heart. I am asking you for grace that helps people as they encounter genuine acceptance and your unconditional love through me.
Thank you, Lord & Thank you, Sarah ♡ I will never be the same.
Hagar gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are (El Roi) the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” Genesis 16:13 NIV
This is a true story. I changed a few details to protect and honor this dear lady whose influence is alive within my heart.